Dwile Flonking

Posted by Th Dread Pirate Roberts

It's been a bit since I have been able to update you concerning Captain Crab. We were sailing off the coast of Virginia last week when a terrible hurricane nearly capsized the ship. We ran aground and have just been able to limp back to port this weekend.

Anyway, the Dear Captain Crab has been spotted in the UK in various pubs trying to get the locals to engage in dwile flonking. He wasn't having much luck so he decided to gongoozle for a few weeks before returning home.

The Captain is not Well

Captain Crab Update (Updated)

Important update below:

posted by The Dread Pirate Roberts

The Captain is recovering in a private mental health institution. The Doctors decided he should be kept for observation. He was mumbling "I love the night life, I love to boogie" over and over.

New flash:

Catain Crab has been diagnosed with the now extremely rare condition "Disco Inferno", which is very hard to treat. His Doctor thinks this may be a permanent condition.

Finally Something to Aspire to

Even Pirates Cry

Sometimes it's tough to type with tears in your eyes.

Stop the Insanity

Mateys, it's time to take this into our own hands. We need this to stop and make sure it never happens again. What kind of future will we have if this continues? What about our children's children's children? What would you say to them if you had the chance?

Everyone of us has the ability to help. It isn't rocket science you know.

So step up the plate and do your fair share to make everything right again.

Captain Crab's Confused (again)

Canadian: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."

Americans: "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This is the captain of a us navy ship. I say again, divert your course."

Canadians: "No. I say again, you divert your course."

Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, I say again, that's one five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. "

Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

No Do-Overs

As I grow older and approach the magical anniversary of my 60th trip around the sun sometimes I pause and rethink some of my decisions over the years. There are no do-overs in life.

Gigantic Fireball

According to the CNN report

"the fireball was seen across parts of Missouri, Illinois, Indiana and Wisconsin. CNN affiliate WISN-TV said that people in Ohio also saw it."

The following video was taken by Tim Beckman, Deputy Sheriff, Howard County, IOWA! Thanks to KCRG

The Facebook Dilemma

OK, I joined facebook. Under my real actual name. It's, uh, interesting, I guess. I have been in contact with some dear friends from over years past.

However, it seems as though everyone wants to be my friend!

I didn't join facebook to be a "friend collector" as some people seem to be. Come on, 1,594 "friends"?

Now my dilema; is it a really bad thing to not accept some one's invitation to be their friend or can I just ignore them?

Dumb Ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I locked my keys in my truck today!

On the Road

Sometimes, in my motel room, I will read or see something that just is almost unbelievable. Since I have no one to make a comment to, I will stand up, look in the mirror and say:

What the f*** was that?

Do I need help?

And Now.............An Update

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

And Now..............

the post election depression sets in. I've read all the papers and all of the blogs. Nothing exciting happened yesterday, well there was a bit of Sarah trashing*, but nothing else that interested me.

I feel like the guy in Forrest Gump, who after he and many others ran with Forrest and then Forrest said he was going home, said "what are we supposed to do now?"

*An angry aide characterized the shopping spree as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast."

Credit Default Swaps

Is there anyone who reads this blog (all three of you) or anyone who just happens to land here from somewhere else in the www world who can explain to me, in terms that I can understand, what the hell a credit default swap is and how it works?