I'm Not Dead Yet!

Yes, I had to go for an ambulance ride and spend a few hours in the ER last week. I apparently had a Transient Ischemic Attack. I am fine. I went to my family Doctor on Thursday and have an appointment with my neurologist tomorrow.

So, without further introduction:

A Pirate's Life

Some days I want to retire from piratin'.

• It sucks to have to wear glasses.
• It really sucks when one of the lens falls out
• It sucks even more when it falls out while driving
• Don't even get me started about putting my eye patch on the wrong eye in the morning!

Thank God I don't have a glass eye! It would probably ........... never mind.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Your Housekeeper has been........

No, I did not leave a tip for Here.

Driving on semi slush covered roads is trying but at least it makes art.

I have not met Cap'n Ken. Yet!

Pirates Among Us

Barnacle Bitten Land Lubber

A New and Exciting Career

I am thinking of giving up piracy for a new career.

Pirate Stuff

From k8:

Can Captain Crab Sing?

No, but I can embed music for ya land lubbers to listen to! aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr!

Turks and Caicos Islands and other stuff

The Dread Pirate Roberts contacted me today. She and the ship are in The Turks and Caicos Islands and currently anchored just off of Salt Cay. Due to the bad publicity that the Somali terrorists gave the Pirating profession Roberts told me that all operations had to be curtailed. So, from now on the ship will simply haul rich tourists around for an ungodly amount of money. Legal and much more profitable. aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!!!!!

As for me, your Captain on this amzing cruise through life, I have just completed a wonderful two week stretch on the road. Oh, I was home last Saturday night so I guess it wasn't THAT bad. I did catch manage to catch a virus of some sort or maybe I'm just sobering up after almost constant alcohol abuse.

Pirates and Hairspray

A statement from Captain Crab, the Last Saskatchewan Pirate, and The Dread Pirate Roberts:

"There are a bunch of loony ex fisherman over in Somalia that are making piracy look bad. They are attracting too much press coverage of their exploits. This does nothing to further our political ambitions in the United States, Canada, and the Caribbean. We totally disagree with their abominable acts*."

*We do find it amazing that guys in speed boats can stop and take over a super tanker however. We're still working with schooners and swords.

And finally, why aren't men taught how to use hair spray? I either don't get enough on and the wind, which has been howling here, makes me look like someone with a really bad Mohawk or too much on and then it's kind of plastic looking.

Piratin' is Tough Work

Note: Senseless and silly violence is shown!

The Dread Pirate Roberts

For all of you that have been wondering about the New Dread Pirate Roberts:

Back to the Ship

Important update below!


After over a year, I was finally contacted by The Dread Pirate Roberts today. He faxed me a copy of the map of his course over the past year.

I'm beginning to think that I may have to go take control of ship again, which he has renamed "The Sarah"*.

Bloody bastard!

Update: Due to McPalin, I have decided not to replace The Dread Pirate Roberts at the helm of "The Sarah"* until after the presidential election!.



*Send possible new ship names, please!

aaaaarrrrr! Talk Like a Pirate Day

Yes, kids, today is "Talk Like a Pirate Day. I forgot*, so this is a quick mid day reminder.

Enjoy Mateys! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*mainly because I talk like a pirate every day!

A Great Pirate Song

This song was written by and originally recorded by "The Arrogant Worms". This version is by "Captain Tractor". Enjoy!

A Pirate Lesson

Thanks to PJ for alerting me to this. She's a fine Lassie!