Saturday, January 29, 2011

The United States

Click on maps to enlarge

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Friday, January 21, 2011

Captain Crab's Joke of the Day

The Founding Fathers of the Great Land up North were siting around drinking some Molsons one night trying to think of a name for their new country. The conversation went something like this:

1st Founding Father: We'll need a c, eh?

2nd Founding Father: And an n, eh?

3rd Founding Father: And a d, eh?

And that is how Canada was named.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A Short Conversation

Laimbeer: "You can't toss them all."

Mauer: "I hope not."

Minnesota Timberwolves assistant coach Bill Laimbeer discussing the five technical fouls called in ten seconds on his team with official Kenny Mauer.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Not Even Steve the Pilot Guy Can Help

Looks like it's either time to party or pray.

Thus Holy God is showing us by the words of 2 Peter 3:8 that He wants us to know that exactly 7,000 years after He destroyed the world with water in Noah’s day, He plans to destroy the entire world forever. Because the year 2011 A.D. is exactly 7,000 years after 4990 B.C. when the flood began, the Bible has given us absolute proof that the year 2011 is the end of the world during the Day of Judgment, which will come on the last day of the Day of Judgment.

Amazingly, May 21, 2011 is the 17th day of the 2nd month of the Biblical calendar of our day. Remember, the flood waters also began on the 17th day of the 2nd month, in the year 4990 B.C.
more here and here

Some Things to Worry About (updated)

It started snowing Sunday and has been snowing off and on since then. 8-10" by my very unscientific measuring technique (don't even think of asking!). The wind is supposed to pick up this afternoon and start blowing it to and froe. Another snow day.

But that doesn't worry me as much as this:

WASHINGTON – There’s a giant green blob in outer space. It’s alive and it’s heading for Earth!

or this:

Three giant alien spaceships are heading for Earth! Scientists predict they will arrive in early 2011.
but worst of all, this:

WASHINGTON, DC - The FCC has declared that nudity will now be allowed on TV – including full frontal nudity!
Read all of these amazing stories here

Update: I am going to contact Steve the Pilot Guy to see if he can fly one of his Cessnas at the Blob and then fend of the Alien spaceships to save us all from a complete and gory death.

I wonder if the Aliens will be mad if they get here and the Blob has already destroyed the Earth?

Monday, January 10, 2011

A Message for Molly

If you are going to hop into the shower after I get out, you might want to wait until I have left the bathroom. Because, I am a mean old man and will turn the shower on just to see you run at high speed.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Fast Fingers

Prepare to be amazed.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Friday, January 7, 2011

Medical Procedures

Here is an actual conversation I had this morning while having a carotid ultrasound done:

Ms Technician: "Captain Crab could you slide a little bit closer to me"?

Me: (as I slid over) "It's been a long time since a woman asked me slide closer to her."

Ms Technician: "How long has it been since you were slapped?"

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

It's OK for Me, but Screw You!

Steve, the Loon, King is at it again. We all know that Steve despises the health care bill passed by the last congress. Socialism at it's worst. However, Stevie and his wife won't be giving up their federal health care, because he is a federal employee. Can anyone spell hypocrite?

Monday, January 3, 2011

Sunday, January 2, 2011

I'm Not Dead Yet!

Yes, I had to go for an ambulance ride and spend a few hours in the ER last week. I apparently had a Transient Ischemic Attack. I am fine. I went to my family Doctor on Thursday and have an appointment with my neurologist tomorrow.

So, without further introduction: