Thursday, December 30, 2010
1. Don't leave a message for your wife like this:
"Honey, I may be having a stroke*. 911 has been called".
2. Don't call her from the ambulance (with siren blaring).
3. If you do call her from the ambulance, don't tell her:
"Every thing's fine. No you don't need to drive over. Yet."
"What should you do? Relax and bake a cake."
I hope that you learn from my mistakes.
*I did not have a stroke. It was a "transient ischemic attack".
There is a lot more to this story that will come out in the coming days. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
A majority of 56% of all Iowans consider themselves intellectuals (1990). But then again, 11% of us have names for our cars, most frequently with names starting with the letter "b," as in Betsy, Bessie, Beulah. Presumably these two findings have little overlap.
For more, go to their website
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
“What I’m commenting on is that we need to have a real, practical working definition of what do we mean by” earmarks."
“It’s like what beauty is,” said Rep. Phil Roe (R-Tenn.). “Everyone knows what a bridge to nowhere is, or an airport that lands no airplanes, or a statue to you — everyone knows that’s bad. It’s easy to say what an earmark isn’t, rather than what an earmark is.”
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
"I don't think the majority of Americans want to put up with the blue-bloods," Palin said in a radio interview on the Laura Ingraham Show Wednesday. "With all due respect because I love the Bushes, the blue-bloods who want to pick and choose their winners instead of allowing competition."
We have so much to be thankful for in America, so count me among the grateful.
I'm thankful to live in a country where you can call the president an American-hating, Kenyan-born Muslim Marxist and not in any way have to worry about the government infringing on your right to do so. You can compare the president, or anyone else,
Read Alan Colmes entire opinion at AOL here.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him..
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Minnesota Vikings, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Then the Alaska crazies moved to the top.
Arizona went flying by after the immigration law was passed.
Iowa's right wing zealots who ousted three supreme court justices and have formed a coalition to fight off the ugly, gay loving liberals was, at the top of the heap. Until this:
Bail was set Wednesday at $1,500 for a town of Vermont man accused of shooting his television after becoming enraged by Bristol Palin’s performance on “Dancing with the Stars,” threatening his wife and sparking a 15-hour standoff with Dane County sheriff’s deputies.
So, Wisconsin, home of Bucky the Badger and way too many taverns to count, takes over the top spot. Until I read the news again. Then who knows?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
A 20-year-old Ham Lake man faces nearly $2,000 in fines and restitution for recently poaching two bucks and shooting an over-limit of Canada geese -- and then posting his exploits on his Facebook page.Read the full story at the Star Tribune
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
"The best kind of partying is the kind you can’t remember."Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones in his biography "Life".
"The 1972 tour was known by other names – the Cocaine and Tequila Sunrise tour or the STP, Stones Touring Party. It was the beginning of the booking of whole hotel floors, with no one else allowed up, so that some of us – like me – could get privacy and security. It was the only way we could have a degree of certainty that when we decided to party, we could control the situation or at least get some warning if there was trouble."
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Public hearings are often a formality, a minor road bump. Plenty of earnest folks show up to question the impact of a proposed subdivision or shopping mall upon their neighborhoods and lives, and the politicians pretend to listen.
By that point, though, the deal is already sealed, the necessary majority of votes secured.
This cynical charade has been going on since the beginning of statehood. It's the reason so many Florida cities look like they were planned by chimpanzees on LSD.
Read more here
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
InvictusCorruptus 10/13/2010 05:01 PM
Everything we've ever been taught to trust and believe in as children was all part of a grand illusion perpetrated by the powers that be in order to control the peasants from uprising.
We have systematically been beaten into submission, becoming apathetic little sheep, ignoring the massive corruption going on behind the scenes by the rich and the powerful, all at the detriment of our country and society.
The advent of new technology will one day be looked upon as a plague by future civilizations. Dehumanizing, dysfunctional, impersonal, divisive, deceptive, destructive. Human kind with all of it's new gizmos and gadgets, from ipods, to blackberry's to PlayStations, we have become a nation of drones, trolls and zombies. lacking empathy or tolerance for others, while with the popularity of fixed news and am talk radio, we have built our barriers, chosen our sides and battle with one another over issues that are tossed out there by politicians, special interest groups and political pundits, issues meant only to further anger and divide the people of this nation and to breed more hatred for others.
Meanwhile while we are battling amongst one another, the rich and powerful become richer and more powerful. The slightest legislation meant to help the poor and the sick, that in a just society would be a no brainer, becomes an all out war carried via the media.
The game is over, the have mores and have a lot more have won. They have conquered we the peasants, the have nots of the world, who if they are lucky to have a job, work their asses off just to survive these days. Yet we still pick our sides, become more divided, playing right into the hands of those pulling all of the strings. Nothing is going to change in this country until the peasants have an uprising. Hoping that one party or the other party will come to their senses is an exercise of futility.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing", the cowboy offered.
"On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled; Now, back off or I'll kick the s - - t out of all of you!"
St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"
"Couple minutes ago."
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
For the rest of the story go here.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
The regulation of Carbon Dioxide in our atmosphere should be left to God and not government and I oppose all measures of Cap and Trade as well as the teaching of global warming theory in our schools.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I normally drive 60-62 on most rural roads. That's a nice comfortable speed. With proper planning I avoid most small towns and can average an actual speed of between 50 and 55 miles per hour and a fuel mileage around 24 mpg with a four wheel drive pickup.
But, lately traffic has been in ultra high speed mode. People are driving 65-70. They pull up behind and follow as close as possible and pass in the stupidest places. Passing while coming into a small town with children playing is DUMB. Passing going up hill and on curves.
If you wish to kill yourself, that's entirely up to you. But those children don't want to be involved and neither do I.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Never purchase more than four (4) items at one time. You may, however, take your first purchase to your mode of transportation and then go back into the store as many times as necessary. But always go through the same checkout line.
NEVER purchase things that are related.
For example, yesterday I bought a comb and six beer*.
Last week it was cheese curds** and heavy duty spray starch. Oh, and six beer.
*Saskatoon for a six pack.
**They weren't fresh. Fresh cheese curds squeak when you bite them. Just like little mice!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Traditional supporters of the idea are known as “Thirteenthers,” who seek to prevent those with the title of “esquire,” such as lawyers and bankers, from participating in government. But according to its spokeswoman, Danielle Plogmann, the Iowa GOP supports it as an attack on President Obama’s Nobel Prize win:
There are, of course, other implications of Thirteenthism, such as ensuring that the United States never again suffers the humiliation of having a president win the Nobel Peace Prize. That was just what the Iowa Republicans had in mind, according to Plogmann, who wrote in an e-mail that the plank “was meant to make a statement about the delegates’ opinion about Mr. Obama receiving the prize.” (Presumably they didn’t mind if, in the process, they were also making a statement about any American scientist or writer unlucky enough to win a Nobel.) Unfortunately for them, the Department of Justice looked into whether Obama needed Congressional approval to accept the Nobel under the existing emoluments clause, and based on the meaning of “foreign state” (which would not cover the Nobel Prize Committee) concluded that he did not.
Thanks to Think Progress
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
An American basketball player (LeBron James) will announce on a television special (ESPN) tonight which basketball team he will play for the next few years.
He is a high school graduate who went from high school to the NBA. No college. No advanced degrees. He will earn more in one game than most people earn in a year.
He is going to fuck ESPN and their advertisers and the American sporting public and they will enoy it.
No wonder the rest of the world thinks we are stupid!
Listening to commercials for McDonald's, Burger King, and other restaurants in spanish was.....interesting. My favorite was a Taco Bell ad for a "bacon club chalupa". I'm not ordering one either!
For your listening pleasure: Locos Desde Ayer by Inquietos Del Norte
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
So, if you find yourself in the company of several of the YTRBILTs**, remember to occaisionally bring up something that Repulicans hate. You don't actually have to participate in the subsequent conversation, you just want to appear "not liberal".
Try to choose a subject that you are neutral or even negative about, but that you know Republicans hate, such as soccer.
Republicans are especially fond of football and baseball, but tend to shy away from other sports. Top among these ‘other sports’ is the cancer known as soccer. Soccer’s threat to American men has been prevalent since immigrants began arriving on U.S. shores in the late 19th century.
Good luck, you'll need it.
*If you invite Rebs and Dems to the same dinner party, you are one tough person.
**Yes They're Republican But I Like Them