Monday, March 31, 2008
"everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says
"Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start
tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the
store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought
something from you today?"
The kid says "One!"
The boss says "Just One? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers
a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says "$101,237.65."
The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold
him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I
sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going
fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to
need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a
twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda
Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department
and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss says, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold
him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife,
and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing!'"
Sunday, March 30, 2008
More interesting facts are here.
More Davidson Students Travel to Detroit for Regional Final
Posted: Mar. 29 9:29 p.m.
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Davidson College, which already sprung for more than 350 students to watch the men's basketball team play in the Midwest Regional, is sending an additional 200 students to see if the team can win a spot in the Final Four.
The new group was expected to board buses on Sunday at 3 a.m. to see the Wildcats play Kansas at Ford Field in Detroit at 5 p.m.
Media relations director Bill Giduz told The Charlotte Observer that the school was able to line up the additional buses, and said the students will return home immediately after the game.
The additional bus loads mean that almost a third of Davidson's 1,700 student population will be at the game. Davidson has never advanced to the Final Four, but the Wildcats have upset three teams in the NCAA tournament and have a 25-game winning streak.
Copyright 2008 by The Associated Press
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
To help you, here is a lesson:
Thursday, March 27, 2008
In the early 1960s, at a time when many young people were being radicalized by the Vietnam War, Wright left college and volunteered to join the United States Marine Corps. After three years as a marine, he chose to serve three more as a naval medical technician, during which time he received several White House commendations. He came to Chicago to study not long after Martin Luther King Jr.'s murder in 1968, the U.S. bombing campaign in Cambodia in 1969, and the shooting of students at Kent State University in 1970.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I used to do this also, never even getting close to winning anything. I studied, made all sorts of educated guesses, but nothing. So I quit. Now for the real story:
As far as filling out brackets go, H actually did the best job ever when she was much younger.
Her method was: "which animal are they?" H's actually did much better than I did that year.
So, in the future call one of your friends with small children and recruit one to help you do the "mascot bracket". You'll do better! And you'll have an excuse!
Noting the burden placed on military families, the Vice President said the biggest burden is carried by President Bush, and reminded ABC news that the U.S. military in Iraq and Afghanistan volunteered for duty.
Dick, I guess that they don't matter to you one fucking bit, do they?
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sadly, after making one last pot, it died this morning. We are drinking "cowboy coffee" now.
And PJ is shopping online for a new coffee maker as I type this.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Update: You would think that only one wierd thing a day would come from a small town on the Kentucky border. But you would be wrong! Here's an article about a man hit and dragged to his death by a police officer!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
There is no chocolate, apple, or any other fruit or other wise silly things in a martini!
Martinis get you drunk. Fast. Here is a little saying about martinis and women:
"One at the most, two put you under the table, three put you under the host!
There. You're drinking lesson for the day.
Now for the "Not a democratic vice presidential candidate" list:
Eliot Spitzer: Need I say more?
Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama: I don't think that these two will be able to kiss and make up.
Geraldine Ferraro: Unless Barrack thinks that it will help with the "angry white voters". I don't thinks so!
Captain Crab: Within an hour the media would find something that would cause me to quit.
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Democrats have been having their own troubles this week, with the name calling, childish behavior, race baiting, and of course Michigan and Florida. I suspect the way they are ALL fighting has the Republicans happier than baby pigs at supper time. They don't really have to beat the Dem's, but just watch them self destruct.
But, spring is on it's way.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
"I don't want to disparage anyone because of their race, their ethnicity, their name - whatever their religion their father might have been," he said. "I'll just say this: When you think about the option of a Barack Obama potentially getting elected President of the United States -- I mean, what does this look like to the rest of the world? What does it look like to the world of Islam?"
I'm not sure Steve, tell me more:
"I will tell you that, if he is elected president, then the radical Islamists, the al-Qaida, the radical Islamists and their supporters, will be dancing in the streets in greater numbers than they did on September 11 because they will declare victory in this War on Terror."
Steve, I still don't understand:
"Additionally, his middle name (Hussein) does matter," King said. "It matters because they read a meaning into that in the rest of the world. That has a special meaning to them. They will be dancing in the streets because of his middle name. They will be dancing in the streets because of who his father was and because of his posture that says: Pull out of the Middle East and pull out of this conflict."
Oh, now it's clear to me. His father was from Kenya and his middle name is Hussein!
That makes fucking sense!
Read the entire article here. Read more about Steve here.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Now, 1st of all being conservative has never been on of my strong suits. However, wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm Over Worked and Under Fucked" into said restaurant is just plain rude. Especially when you are with your girlfriend/fiancee/wife.
If you are a 45 year old woman, please don't try to be 22. Or if you are 22, please don't act 70.
I have plenty more, but it's all starting to upset me.
Not to worry though, as Sydney University astronomer Peter Tuthill explains:
"We probably have hundreds of thousands of years before it blows, so we have plenty of time to come up with some answers," he said.
Editor and Publisher has a column about that press conference.
The small explosion at a Times Square military recruiting station has given the media something other than the election campaign to talk and write about today. This recruiting station cost you and I $1,000,000 for 520 feet of floor space and a bathroom. Or nearly $1925/square foot. I want one in my town!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
source as another pet that we had. Not that we were looking for more pets.
SHFB has a fantastic little video about cats training their owners.
I don't always have something to say. Occasionally I find something that is funny to me and that someone else might also enjoy. My feeling about this is a lot like my advice to uptight parents about what their children see on the television: If you don't feel like watching the damn thing, don't!
Captain Crab's High Sea Adventures was not started to change the world. And By God I'm not going to start now.
Bob Herbert of the New York Times explores this in a bit more detail here. An excerpt:
Mr. Hormats mentioned Social Security and Medicare, saying that both could have been put “on a more sustainable basis.” And he cited the committee’s own calculations from last fall that showed that the money spent on the war each day is enough to enroll an additional 58,000 children in Head Start for a year, or make a year of college affordable for 160,000 low-income students through Pell Grants, or pay the annual salaries of nearly 11,000 additional border patrol agents or 14,000 more police officers.
Monday, March 3, 2008
March 2, 2008 22:23 PST Hidalgo, Texas (AP)
Some are dented, scratched and rusty. Others rattle and belch under faded paint jobs. But the "'98" soaped onto their windshields and a surprise change in Mexican import rules have turned a single year's worth of used cars into pick of the used-car lot.
Beginning Monday, only cars made for the 1998 model year, none older and none newer, can be legally imported into Mexico. Car dealers were given notice only a month ago.
Until now, used cars 10 to 15 years old were scooped up at auction by South Texas used car dealers and rapidly sold to Mexicans hungry for affordable transportation and "la novedad", or novelty, of unfamiliar makes and models.
Cars newer than that were banned from imports as unwelcome competition for Mexican car dealers, and anything more than 15 years old was seen as a potential environmental and safety hazard.
But now, under pressure from Mexico's new car dealers who say "vehiculos chatarra," or jalopies, undercut their sales, the Mexican government is allowing only 10-year-old used cars to be legally imported into Mexico.
All of a sudden, 1998 Luminas, Astro vans and Ranger pickups are sought-after trophies.
The Mexican Association of Automobile Distributors, which pushed for the change, said it was needed to "stop the accelerated conversion of our country into the world's biggest automotive garbage dump."
The Mexican Consulate in McAllen said the change was made "to restrict the entry of vehicles that compete with the Mexican car industry."
A mile north of the Rio Grande, 80 percent of the customers at Walester Auto Sales are Mexican. But this past week, only one out of the 24 cars on the dirt lot boasted the magic "1998." That vehicle was a white Chevrolet Blazer with a "Redneck" sticker on the windshield and a vanity plate of a silhouetted couple embracing in front of a tropical sunset. It was priced at $3,200.
With the sudden change in demand, such 1998 models are appreciating for the first time since they rolled off the lot, their prices rising by $500 to $800, while dealers cut prices on slightly older models in a frantic effort to move them out before Monday's deadline.
"At this point we have a lot of merchandise that was going to Mexico that now will stay," said Elena Garcia, who owns Walester with her husband, Armando Garcia, who was in Florida scouring auto auctions for more vehicles.
At Gutierrez Brothers, a few Mexican car dealers milled about, shaking their heads at the limited selection. "The worse thing we can do is buy something that we don't know if it can go across (the border)," Juan Gutierrez said. "If a 1997 worth $3,000 can't cross, it's not even worth $1,500." He had to unload about 1,000 cars last month at sharply reduced prices just to avoid getting stuck with them in March.
Gutierrez said his buyers at auto auctions across the country tell him that when a 1998 rolls into the garage, 20 buyers line up where there used to be a handful.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
aaaaarrrrrrrrr! But not the Crab! I have to make special preparations before even thinking about doing this. And dear, sweet, lovely PJ has probably done more to help me get in the mood than anything or anyone else.
Here is the Pirate hat she bought for me and the brand new shirt that just arrived today! Wearing the hat gives me extra special writing prowess and helps me maintain focus when a mental blockage tries to overtake my brain.
This extra special coffee cup* is also necessary. However, if it is empty or without the coffee drops on the side (I spill a lot sometimes) I spontaneously play a game of "FreeCell", thus killing the "spur of the moment" or "by the seat of my pants" writing style that is my trademark**.
*given to me by our good friend C who divides her time between Philly and Florida.
**at least that's what I think