Thursday, December 30, 2010

Captain Crab's Travel Tip of the Year

Here a few things that you should not do when you are staying in a motel 175 miles from home:

1. Don't leave a message for your wife like this:

"Honey, I may be having a stroke*. 911 has been called".

2. Don't call her from the ambulance (with siren blaring).

3. If you do call her from the ambulance, don't tell her:

"Every thing's fine. No you don't need to drive over. Yet."

"What should you do? Relax and bake a cake."

I hope that you learn from my mistakes.

*I did not have a stroke. It was a "transient ischemic attack".

There is a lot more to this story that will come out in the coming days. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Must be Santa

Today's Christmas song.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Santa Claus and Rudolph

Have you ever wondered how Santa gets it all done in such a short period of time? Here's the explanation.

Jesus has Returned

Yes, it's true!

Little baby Jesus has returned to Everly.

Some could argue he never left, but it's hard to say for sure because Clay County sheriff's deputies won't reveal where they found him.

Here's the story.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Captain Crab's Year in Review

Not really a review, just a few of my favorite pictures from 2010. Some you may have seen before, some you haven't. The last one may not be safe for warm blooded individuals. Enjoy.

Beer Refrigerator

If anyone is thinking of buying a gift for me this year, here is something that I would love to have.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Car Naming and Intellectuals

From Selzer & Company:

A majority of 56% of all Iowans consider themselves intellectuals (1990). But then again, 11% of us have names for our cars, most frequently with names starting with the letter "b," as in Betsy, Bessie, Beulah. Presumably these two findings have little overlap.

For more, go to their website

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Breakup Hit Man

Ready to break up? Don't want to do it yourself? Just contact IDUMP4U

Sunday, December 12, 2010

They aren't really earmarks

Queen Bee Michele Bachmann and some other Repulican lawmakers have decided the term earmarks may need to be redefined. When things in your electoral district need to be funded, what do you do?
“What I’m commenting on is that we need to have a real, practical working definition of what do we mean by” earmarks."
“It’s like what beauty is,” said Rep. Phil Roe (R-Tenn.). “Everyone knows what a bridge to nowhere is, or an airport that lands no airplanes, or a statue to you — everyone knows that’s bad. It’s easy to say what an earmark isn’t, rather than what an earmark is.”

Read more

Monday, December 6, 2010

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Another Holiday Song

Molly has nearly destroyed the Christmas tree, PJ is about ready to kill her and I have a song for you.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Well, it's Started

PJ put up the Christmas tree. Molly is intent on tearing it down. And I post my first Christmas video.

Here' Straight No Chaser singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas: