Monday, January 10, 2011
A Message for Molly
If you are going to hop into the shower after I get out, you might want to wait until I have left the bathroom. Because, I am a mean old man and will turn the shower on just to see you run at high speed.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Medical Procedures
Here is an actual conversation I had this morning while having a carotid ultrasound done:
Ms Technician: "Captain Crab could you slide a little bit closer to me"?
Me: (as I slid over) "It's been a long time since a woman asked me slide closer to her."
Ms Technician: "How long has it been since you were slapped?"
Ms Technician: "Captain Crab could you slide a little bit closer to me"?
Me: (as I slid over) "It's been a long time since a woman asked me slide closer to her."
Ms Technician: "How long has it been since you were slapped?"
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
It's OK for Me, but Screw You!
Steve, the Loon, King is at it again. We all know that Steve despises the health care bill passed by the last congress. Socialism at it's worst. However, Stevie and his wife won't be giving up their federal health care, because he is a federal employee. Can anyone spell hypocrite?
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
I'm Not Dead Yet!
Yes, I had to go for an ambulance ride and spend a few hours in the ER last week. I apparently had a Transient Ischemic Attack. I am fine. I went to my family Doctor on Thursday and have an appointment with my neurologist tomorrow.
So, without further introduction:
So, without further introduction:
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Captain Crab's Travel Tip of the Year
Here a few things that you should not do when you are staying in a motel 175 miles from home:
1. Don't leave a message for your wife like this:
"Honey, I may be having a stroke*. 911 has been called".
2. Don't call her from the ambulance (with siren blaring).
3. If you do call her from the ambulance, don't tell her:
"Every thing's fine. No you don't need to drive over. Yet."
"What should you do? Relax and bake a cake."
I hope that you learn from my mistakes.
*I did not have a stroke. It was a "transient ischemic attack".
There is a lot more to this story that will come out in the coming days. Stay tuned.
1. Don't leave a message for your wife like this:
"Honey, I may be having a stroke*. 911 has been called".
2. Don't call her from the ambulance (with siren blaring).
3. If you do call her from the ambulance, don't tell her:
"Every thing's fine. No you don't need to drive over. Yet."
"What should you do? Relax and bake a cake."
I hope that you learn from my mistakes.
*I did not have a stroke. It was a "transient ischemic attack".
There is a lot more to this story that will come out in the coming days. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Santa Claus and Rudolph
Have you ever wondered how Santa gets it all done in such a short period of time? Here's the explanation.
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