The Crab's Easy Driving Rules

1. Turn signals have a purpose other than just adding more electronics to your vehicle. USE THEM!
2. Chances are your vehicle has cruise control. Following someone who varies between 50 and 70 mph is no fun. If you don't know how to put the cruise on and can't read the operator's manual, ask someone to show you how the f&@* to do it!
3. You don't have to turn the cruise control off to talk on your phone (if you must)*.
4. Stop lights: Green-go. Red-Stop. Yellow does not mean double your speed!
5. Food: Trying to eat your french fries, drinking your super sized soda, yelling at your kids so they don't spill in your super sized SUV, while driving 80 mph down the 2 lane highway in the winter is just plain STUPID!!!!
6. If you have a death wish that's fine. Just don't include me.

If it sounds like I'm a bit upset, you get an A.