Captain Crab's Quote of the Day

After hearing of Bristol Palin's baby's name:

"Why would anyone name their child after a town in South Dakota?"

Captain Crab
Infamous Something or Other

Quote of the Day

"Kids are no different now than they were 20 years ago, the only thing that's different is the parents."

Norm Parker
Assistant Football Coach
University of Iowa

I Need to Get a Life!

There are too many people on the roads! Don't people have someplace to be? And they drive like idiots too!

I ate fast food last night*. Business was slooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww, so was the service. I would hate to see how they handle a busy night!

I fought with my computer for an hour and a half this morning to get an internet connection. But, with the help of Jeff at the front desk and Brian at tech support, we won the battle!

I am going to the Humane Society of North Central Iowa today to look at cats. Is it too soon after Felix died? Is this a "rebound" cat?

*Once a month at the most.

Sarah Palin Will be President

of Russia!

We all know that things are tough around the USA. But according to a former KGB analyst, this is what the country will look like in the not too distant future. Read the story at the Wall Street Journal.

Update below!

After discussing this with PJ, we have come up with an alternative plan. Montana and Wyoming would be part of The Californian Republic. Colorado, Kansas, and Misourri would become part of the Texas Republic. Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and Michigan would become part of Atlantic America.

That would allow all of us Germans and Scandinaviens to merge right in with the Canadiens.

Good idea, eh?

I am Not Dave Barry

So, I will not attempt to do "The Year in Review". Here is a bit of Dave's column to get you all excited to read the entire piece here.

SEPTEMBER . . .
the Republican convention gets off to a tentative start in St. Paul, Minn., when President Bush and Vice President Cheney are unable to attend, partly because of Hurricane Gustav, and partly because the organizers told them that the convention was in Atlanta. The mood improves when Sarah Palin dazzles the delegates with her winning smile, detailed knowledge of what is on the teleprompter and spot-on imitation of Tina Fey. The next night, John McCain, formally accepting the nomination, pledges to run "a totally incoherent campaign." None of this is reported in the media because the entire press corps is in Wasilla, Alaska, investigating rumors that Palin once dated a yeti.

Saving Money May or May Not be a Good Idea

Now that Christmas has come and gone it's time to think about serious things again.

I have decided to grow a beard. Why you ask?

1. I really don't like to shave.
2. Shaving is expensive, having to buy shaving creme and razor blades and after shave and what not.
3. I don't have a whole lot of hair to play with, so facial hair is a quick and exciting way to change my appearance.

But, due to the down turn in the economy, growing a beard may make the depression worse.

If I am not buying shaving creme and razor blades and other essentials, the people that make these items will not have as much product to make, the people who make the containers will not have as many containers to make, the people who make the steel will not have as much steel to make. This in itself is bad, but it gets worse.

Investors will notice the slowdown in demand for said items and take their money out of the companies that make these items causing the stock prices of those companies to fall. This will lower their borrowing ability putting further financial stress on the companies causing them to lay off workers, who will then apply for unemployment benefits.

These workers will be less able to pay for the basic necessities of life, such as mortgage payments, food, health care and even shaving creme and razor blades, which exacerbates the whole problem farther.

That isn't the worst thing though, because all of a sudden we end up with a huge group that looks like this:

Guest Blogger: The Dread Pirate Roberts

Aaarrr Mateys! Captain Crab asked if I could do a short post for him today. Apparently his fingers are too cold. We are currently just off the southern coast on Anguilla and the weather is bloody lovely here! Here's an appropriate Christmas Eve tune.



Hope Santa brings everything that you wished for.

Too Much Junk Mail?

Stephen T. Wilson has the answer!

How to Move Snow

It's That Time of Year

For those of you that may not be familiar with lutefisk:

"Lutefisk is made from air-dried or salted/dried whitefish, but ling is also used, prepared with, in a sequence of particular treatments."

Thought that you might want to know.

Captain Crab's Musical Treat of the Day

Not Minnesota

It's -2 Fahrenheit, with a northwest wind at 21 gusting to 29.

Parking in Minneapolis

There must me a serious parking shortage in the Twin Cities if people are forced to park on the freeway!

It's Tough to be a Bird Sometimes

With a little help from a nice northwest wind the snow that fell Thursday night and yesterday is moving toward the southeast today. PJ's birds are adapting nicely. I am sure they are happy that she feeds them on a daily basis.

A hen pheasant enjoying a meal.

This rooster is knee deep in snow.

A blue jay enjoying the comforts of a cedar.

Sparrows doing the same.

Mr. Madoff

Since one of Bernard Madoff's sons told authorities that his business was “a giant Ponzi scheme”, the financial world has been in turmoil. Which got me to wondering about the term "ponzi scheme" and where it came from. To explain this all is "Hot for Words":

Having Babies

This week a 42 year old gave birth to her 18th child. She and her husband have successfully spawned 10 boys and 8 girls. You get one guess where they live.

If all the women who bother to read this blog have that many combined, I would be surprised!

Here is the story.

Captain Crab's Educational Video of the Day

Everyone will attend weddings and anniversary celebrations sometime in their lives. Here is an instructional video to prepare you.

Shocking!

A troubling video about media bias.

Media Watchdog Accuses Weather Channel Of Pro-Weather Bias

Attack Cat

Bubbie may be gone, but he's still with us!

Captain Crab's Question of the Day

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

A Tough Day for the Crab and PJ

Felix (aka Bubbie) died today.

Christmas In A Beer Joint

South Dakota in Winter

The Missouri River South of Fort Thompson The Crow Reservation near Fort Thompson

Huron, South Dakota

Don't stay at the Best Western in Huron. I made reservations early this morning. They were f..... up 6 hours later. The maid left a tip envelope, with her name on it, that also says thanks. Sorry, Roxy, but there were two burnt out light bulbs (that you should have replaced) in my room that took little Miss Muffett at the front desk 45 minutes to find replacements for.

A restaurant with "Roadhouse" in the name should serve alcohol, beer at least. In Huron it doesn't!

Do eat at the "Prime Time Tavern", unless you are vegetarian or don't like Fillet Mignon. Monday through Thursday* they serve Fillet Mignon: 6 oz, 9 0z, 12 oz, 15 oz, 18 oz, and 27 oz. With a salad (house dressing only) and baked potato. That's it. No substitutions, nothing else. But great food!

*on Friday and Saturday, only prime rib is served.

Captain Crab's Thought of the Day

This could be about me. Because I am fairly fabulous!

Karaoke and you

You may not want to be a karaoke star. Read the whole story here.

Proposition 8, the Musical

Starring Jack Black as Jesus and with Margaret Cho, Maya Rudolph, John C. Reilly and others.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

It's Getting Better All the Time

Captain Crab's Crab Joke of the Day

A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her—but he was walking straight and not sideways!

Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.

The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab.

She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"

He answered "What, do you think I can get that drunk every day!"