Guest Blogger: Gwen

Since I won the highly coveted chance to guest post on the Captain's blog, I thought it would be appropriate to share an Iowa story. Iowa isn't a state I've spent much time in, other than driving through parts of it on various trips. But I once spent the night in Captain Crab's fine state, back in January 2005.

I had just finished defending my dissertation, deposited it in the library, and was on my way to Utah to start my very first Real Job. I picked up a friend at the airport who was driving across the country with me, and we were off. It was mid-morning, so we expected to make good time and sleep somewhere in Nebraska.

Roughly two minutes after we crossed from Wisconsin into Iowa, it began snowing. And snowing. And OMG snowing. Conditions were horrid. We kept going, at roughly 10 miles per hour. Eventually we had to slow to 5 mph. Then we started to pass lots of cars that had slid off into ditches. When we passed five separate cars and two semis in the ditch in just one mile-long stretch, we decided we gave up and it was time to get a hotel. At 2 in the afternoon. I have no idea what town we stayed in; it was just the first one we came to that had a hotel.

It turns out to be really boring to sit in a hotel room in the early afternoon in a blizzard. But it turned out the University of Oklahoma was playing in a bowl game later that day, and since my friend and I were both OU grads, we figured we'd watch it, which gave us something to look forward to, kind of. At 5 we got ready to watch the game, and discovered that for reasons that were highly unclear, the station the game was playing on had no sound. The other three stations did, but not the one we needed. We watched the game silently for a few minutes and then it occurred to us to turn on the radio and find a station covering the game. And so we spent three hours watching football, with a noticeable disconnect at various points between what we were seeing on the screen and what the radio announcer was talking about.

And then eventually the game was over, the snow had gotten so bad that we didn't want to risk going out for food, and we were stranded at a boring little hotel with nothing to do but go to bed at 8 p.m. And the next morning, for what I assume to be the last time in my life (please please please let it be so), I got to go out and dig my car out of a big mound of snow and ice, a task made extra fun by the fact that I had not brought snow-shoveling equipment with me.

I am sure Iowa is a lovely state. I am sure it is warm and green and inviting and snowless for entire days at a time. Since Captain and p.j. live there, I know it must have advantages. But whenever I hear it brought up in conversation, my first, involuntary thought is always "HMPH. Iowa."

Guest Blogger: Skittles

First things first: I like my new home. Now that I got that out of the way, there are a few things that have me perplexed.

1. There is another cat, Mouse, that lives in this house. He is this huge monstrosity of a thing. I have attempted to make friends with him, but he seems to be rather aloof! All he does is sleep and eat then eat and sleep.



2. A dog also lives here! WTF! A dog for crying out loud! Now, Gretchen hasn't bothered me yet, but how can I trust a dog?


3. I have been here since Tuesday. I was just figuring out where everything was. I located the food, the water, the litter box, and all of the great hiding spots (you can't be too careful when there's a dog in the house!).

But today, Captain Crab decides that I need to go to the vet to get the stitches from my spaying surgery removed. Nice Guy! Then this vet takes my temperature and listens to my heart and lungs, signs some papers, and he and the Captain talk about stuff that is completely irrelevant to me! All I wanted to do was go home, but they have to stand there and blabber for what seemed to be forever.

I am home now thank goodness. After I am finished with this, I think I'll take a nap. It's been a long day already.

Guest Blogger: The Dread Pirate Roberts

Aaarrr Mateys! Captain Crab asked if I could do a short post for him today. Apparently his fingers are too cold. We are currently just off the southern coast on Anguilla and the weather is bloody lovely here! Here's an appropriate Christmas Eve tune.



Hope Santa brings everything that you wished for.

What We are Thankful for

Originally from Virginia, we are currently living near Rockwell City, Iowa.

While "1090" and I do miss the lovely scenery in the Southeast, the food here is much better and more plentiful. During the drought in the Southeast last summer it was tough to find enough to eat.

We are thankful that we get to spend the rest of our days (45-90, hopefully 90) in Iowa eating all we want. Our last ride will only be about 60 miles, much better than the 1000 from Virginia to Iowa.

We also want to thank Captain Crab for stopping by to visit* occasionally and giving us this chance to guest blog.

Horny and 1090

*unlike that cattle buyer from Tyson Foods, who looks at us as like we are in a meat market.