Dumb Ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I locked my keys in my truck today!

On the Road with Captain Crab

Here I am sitting in the Sheraton. Wonderful! It has a great looking bed, a small davenport (couch to some of you), a 21" TV, and a really nice ice bucket with tongs!

The thing is, this room is no nicer than the Comfort Inns that I was in last week. They have an elevator here so I can get to the third floor without having to walk up, so that's cool, I guess.

The motels I stay at regularly are quite nice, have FREE wireless internet, and are strategically located near restaurants so I don't have to drive.

The Sheraton has a bar. I just went down and had a beer with a friend of mine. $4.55 for a pint of Bud Light (which isn't beer by the way).

The Sheraton has wireless internet. $9.95/day. I am on this sucker as long as my eyes will stay open.

The Sheraton has a restaurant. Expensive. The food is.......

So, why am I here? I don't make the reservations when we attend trade shows!

Kevin Costner and Leland, Iowa

Who would think that Kevin Costner and his band Modern West would write and perform a song about the demise of a small town in Iowa?

Blagojevich and the Media

I was thinking of writing a bit about Gov. Rod Blagojevich* of Illinois tonight, but the Blago went on the telle all over the country today, so there's not much I can say.

Except, that the media is just as goofy as he is! Why in the f****** world are these people letting him go on their programs and make a fool of THEM?

And it ain't even the February Sweeps period yet!

*Maybe they just like his hair. Keeps several hair dressers busy I'm sure.

The Story of Stuff

The Story of Stuff

Here is the full version:

A Note to My Right Wing Friends

If you hadn't elected an ineffective, divisive, "Legacy" twice, if you had nominated a capable, moderate presidential candidate to run with a decent vice presidential nominee, not some whack job, maybe you wouldn't be bitching today.

You did it to yourselves.

On the Road

Sometimes, in my motel room, I will read or see something that just is almost unbelievable. Since I have no one to make a comment to, I will stand up, look in the mirror and say:

What the f*** was that?

Do I need help?

Winter can be Beautiful

Lots of snow
Cattle trails in the snow
A gorgeous drive

It's Time to Do What is Right

Here we are, two days after inauguration, and the far left loons and the far right wing nuts are about to drive me crazy.

A lot of people are referring to the inauguration as a "Coronation". They haven't taken the time to think about what has happened.

Other people think that we should immediately start war crimes investigations into GW Bush and his administration.

We now have an intelligent man, who happens to be a man of color and from a humble background, to replace a man of ineptitude, who grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth.

The problems that our country has call for cooperation and bipartisanship. Not the divisive rhetoric that has plagued the US since Bill Clinton was elected.

It's Not the Dog's Fault, He's Depressed

Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own 'clinically depressed' pet dog.

Read the whole story at the Daily Mail.

On the Road to Washington

The picture you have all been waiting for: Captain Crab!

I need to talk to Stephen about taking pictures of my self.
_______________________________________________________
"Ice cold showers are not a good way to start the morning."

Captain Crab

Quote of the Day

From the Ankorage Daily News:

"Usually they don't come in, cook themselves dinner, then burn your house down," police spokeswoman Anita Shell said.

The End of the World as We Know It!

This morning, between stops, I listened to NPR to hear as much as possible (not much, busy morning) of the inauguration. While I didn't get to stand in front of the television like pj, I was no less moved. Today, I am truly proud to be an American.

Please go to the White House website so you don't have to keep pinching yourself.

By the way, I am in Washington tonight! Washington, Iowa that is. But if I can't be in DC, IA works for me!

The End of the World as They Know It!

Yesterday, Dubya's last day in office, I decided to listen to some right wing talk radio. Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck and last but surely the least, Bill O'Reilly. According to these gentleman, the world may end soon. We will become a socialist country, all incentives for working hard will be gone, we will have trillion dollar deficits for years to come.

This afternoon, I had to check back in with the white guys to see how they feel. They just don't get what happened! These poor guys and their listeners are the most whiny, paranoid, cry babies in the bloody world.

Excuse me while I say.....FUCK THEM!

Leg Stomping Cows in Colorado

If you are going to Boulder, Colorado to ride you bicycle, be careful, be very careful.

From the Daily Camera:

Cow charges cyclist on Boulder open space

By Amy Bounds (Contact)

Originally published 05:23 p.m., January 19, 2009

Updated 06:13 p.m., January 19, 2009

BOULDER — A cow charged a woman on the South Boulder Creek Trail on Monday afternoon, knocking her down, officials said.

The woman was riding her bike on the trail when she encountered the cow, and she stopped to let the animal pass, said Pete Taylor, a ranger for Boulder Open Space and Mountain Parks. The cow knocked the woman over and walked on her legs, he said.

He said the woman -- whose name wasn't released -- wasn’t seriously injured, and she refused medical treatment.

She didn’t appear to do anything to provoke the animal, which witnesses said appeared to have an injured leg, he said. The cow had left the scene by the time rangers arrived, but hikers coming down the trail were warning others about the rogue bovine.

Marshall Mesa open space is leased by livestock owners and used as grazing land. Taylor said the cow’s owner was notified.

Jason Vogel, vice president of the Boulder Mountain Bike Alliance, called the attack "odd, rare and random" and said he hasn’t heard of any other cows going after cyclists. It’s not even common to come across cows on the trails, he said, though they often can be seen nearby.

"It’s not something people should be concerned about," he said.

Crisis in Alaska

As we get ready for the inauguration of a new President, there is a humanitarian crisis in Alaska. In several remote villages there is a shortage of food, heating oil, and other basic necessities.

Before winter hit, people couldn't’t afford to gas up their boats, ATVs or snowmachines, or outfit their subsistence hunting trips, which is why people are going hungry. Their freezers aren't stocked as they typically are, and processed foods in the local stores are sucking up whatever cash families have. With an example of two packages of hot dogs coming to $12, and milk almost $10 a gallon, it’s no wonder.

Bethel, AK grocery store:

Milk - $9.89 a gallon.
A gallon of liquid Tide - $29.79.
16oz bottle of Mug rootbeer - $2.65
Subway foot long $10.89

While we have been complaining about the cost of gas, the winter weather, etc. residents of these communities are wondering how to stay alive.

The whole story is at The Mudflats.

SNL: Ann Coulter, America's Sweetheart

Obama and Iowa

“We have been inclusive since the mid-1800s,” said Wayne Ford, a seven-term state legislator from Des Moines and the state’s longest serving black representative. “People here can look at a person’s message or athletic ability more than the color of their skin.”

Ford referred to an Iowa Civil Rights timeline he compiled to back his point, from the Territorial Supreme Court ruling that fugitive slaves were free in 1839, to Iowa becoming the first northern state to give black men the right to vote after the Civil War.

He explains, too, that the Iowa Constitution was amended in 1880 to allow black men to serve in the Iowa General Assembly.

Read the entire article at the Des Moines Register.

Bush Put Me to Sleep Also

From Think Progress

Congress

Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance To Obama's Inauguration Ceremony

I Love Winter

Because.......

You need very cold weather to get a picture like this.

You can't "snow snorkel" nude without snow.

You can look forward to sitting here, beer in hand, and heckling golfers.

And you get to complain about the weather for a few months.

UPS

Why doesn't this ever happen to me?

The man took the package to Denton police later that night, police spokesman Officer Ryan Grelle said. It contained a 30-pound brick of compressed marijuana with a street value of $10,500.

UPS mistakenly delivered it to the Denton house about 8 p.m., Grelle said. The resident was not at home at the time and opened it when he returned.

The story is at the Dallas News.

Important Announcement

Since I just found out that there was already an official SHFBFC in LA, the Super Happy Funtime Blog Fan Club has been renamed the "Midwest Snowy Pit of Frostbitten Misery Chapter of the Super Happy Funtime Blog Fan Club*"

*Suggested by Her Highness

Super Happy Funtime Blog Fan Club Minutes

Things I learned about Stephen T. Wilson:

Piper is a word that should never be mentioned around him.

We both love our cats, Kitcha and Skittles.

I am nearly old enough to be his .................uncle.

We have similar styles of conversation. Bouncing around like a beach ball at a Jimmy Buffett concert.

Steve is TALL! Due to the way our evening went, I never had a chance to ask him who he played pro basketball for.

He loves flying and hanging out at "Million Air".

We had a great time with the blind date responses from his "Facebook" friends!

Steve is better than the last blind date I had. But, back then when a friend said the girl I was going out with was "a good conversationalist and sews her own clothes", I should have just said no.

Steve is a good conversationalist, but I have no idea whether or not he sews his own clothes.

It was one HELL of a night!

No one really knows who Captain Crab is! aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

But most importantly, we did discuss Super Happy Funtime Blog, and how much we love it!

No Wind Chill at Least

Huron Regional Airport

Last Update on Jan 15, 6:55 am CST

Lat: 44.39 Lon: -98.22 Elev: 1281

Fair-28°F(-33°C)

Humidity:
71 %

Wind Speed:
Calm

Barometer:
30.75" (1046.6 mb)

Dewpoint:
-34°F (-37°C)

Visibility:
10.00 mi

How cold is it?

It's so cold, I think my testicles have taken up residence somewhere inside my body. I just don't know where.

Read All About It!!!!!!!!!!!

On a semi-related note, South Dakota Steve and I had a great dinner and conversation last night.

Gwen: eeecccccckkkkkk!

C.S.I.

Anyone who watches "CSI", the original, from Las Vegas not one of the spin offs, realizes that Gil Grissom will no longer be in charge of the unit, he's gone, outta there, flew the coop, etc, etc, etc.

Now, there's a new man in charge.

No Child Left Behind

'cept maybe in Texas. Here is the story

The survey reveals that Texas is ranked last in high school graduation rates and also found that more children in Texas had to retake kindergarten.

It's truly amazing to me that children actually have to retake kindergarten!

Dubya, ya done good.

Marriage

According to an article in the Fort Dodge Messenger:

The average wedding in Iowa costs $26,500.

And with that kind of investment, said Cynthia Betts, certified wedding planner for specialelegantevents.com, people are doing everything they can to ensure they get the "most bang for their buck."

So I looked up divorce rates in the United States:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage
50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.”

Which means a lot of money is wasted! But wait, it does provide employment for "certified wedding planners".

One Shining Moment

A lot of people have been pretty hard on President George W. Bush. To show that I bear no ill will against him here is a wonderful video highlighting the wonderful things he has done for the country.

Increase Your Income

Sheriff Greg Bartlett, Morgan County, Alabama knows an easy way to "suplement your income:

"Under the law, sheriffs are permitted to keep -- as personal income -- money left over after purchasing food for inmates.

The state provides sheriffs with $1.75 per day per inmate for food, according to the Alabama Attorney General's Office. However, in a March 2008 opinion, the office affirmed that sheriffs may legally keep what is left over."

Read the story at CNN

Photo Fun

Southern Bitch

While at the DBT website, I came across another band, Southern Bitch. It's good to know that long hair, long guitar solos, and Southern Rock live on!

Presidents and Joe the Journalist (aka Plumber)

My favorite part: Joe the Plumber's preparation for his trip.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Burger at 1600

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Elvis Has Left the Arena

Today is the 74th anniversary of the birth of Elvis Presley. Here is Neil Young celebrating Elvis. Great song!

Snickers Bars May Be Lethal Weapons

Warning" If you or a family member who uses your computer has a nut allergy, SHUT THE COMPUTER OFF NOW!

From Time/CNN:

"Recently, a Massachusetts school district evacuated a school bus full of 10-year-olds after a stray peanut was found on the bus floor."

Have we gone completely nuts (no pun intended)?

Read the whole story here.

Skittles Update

PJ has posted some new pictures of Skittles over at Not My Rabbit. Check them out, she's a better photographer than me.

Sheep Have Minds Too

Quote of the Day

From an Op-Ed in the NY Times today:

"the general idea appears to be that if you give the banks capital they will in turn use it to make loans in order to stimulate the economy. Never mind that if you want banks to make smart, prudent loans, you probably shouldn't give money to bankers who sunk themselves by making a lot of stupid, imprudent ones."

How Much is Love Worth?

A 17 year old Texas girl was sentenced to two life sentences plus an additional twenty five years in prison Friday. She will be eligible for parole when she's 59.

She took part in the slaying of her Mother and two brothers. Her Father was wounded but has recovered. She was 16 at the time.

She and her boy friend decided killing her family was the only way they could be together after her parents wouldn't let them date.

Love isn't worth 42 years in jail.

Read the story at The Tyler Morning News.
__________________________________________________
And now for something completely different, but much more fun:

The White House has released a booklet highlighting President GW Bush's accomplishments. It's a big PDF and not worth down loading. Unless you have a 1st grader that is just learning how to read. But, be sure to your child that this is just make believe!

Guest Blogger: Skittles

First things first: I like my new home. Now that I got that out of the way, there are a few things that have me perplexed.

1. There is another cat, Mouse, that lives in this house. He is this huge monstrosity of a thing. I have attempted to make friends with him, but he seems to be rather aloof! All he does is sleep and eat then eat and sleep.



2. A dog also lives here! WTF! A dog for crying out loud! Now, Gretchen hasn't bothered me yet, but how can I trust a dog?


3. I have been here since Tuesday. I was just figuring out where everything was. I located the food, the water, the litter box, and all of the great hiding spots (you can't be too careful when there's a dog in the house!).

But today, Captain Crab decides that I need to go to the vet to get the stitches from my spaying surgery removed. Nice Guy! Then this vet takes my temperature and listens to my heart and lungs, signs some papers, and he and the Captain talk about stuff that is completely irrelevant to me! All I wanted to do was go home, but they have to stand there and blabber for what seemed to be forever.

I am home now thank goodness. After I am finished with this, I think I'll take a nap. It's been a long day already.

Skittles

Adopted this week from the Humane Society of North Central Iowa. Thanks to Tammy and her excellent group of volunteers!

Drum Roll, Please

Introducing.........Skittles!

The newest addition to our family.

Ice Fishing and Cheeseheads

Photo by Kurt Robertson, Brussels, WI

Well, the weather was a bit windy and the Wisconsin Badgers weren't in a bowl game and the Packers didn't make the playoffs this year, so why not go ice fishing?

Because the ice might break away from the shore if a ship passes by!

Here is the story from the Green Bay Press Gazette.

2008 Year in Review