Thursday, April 2, 2009

Blood on the Highway

There are a lot of people out on the roads that seem to be on a suicide mission. Unfortunately, I and Dale the Truck Driver and Picking up Strangers have to deal with this on a daily basis. Here are my rules:

I don't care if you want to kill yourself by being stupid, but don't involve me by:

passing in no passing zones

driving 80 mph in a 55 mph zone

driving 45 in a 75 mph zone

pulling out in front of me, going 1/4 of a mile and turning left

pulling out in front of me so I have to brake so hard that all of my luggage ends up in the front seat of my truck

talking on your phone, while eating a Big Mac and fries and drinking a Coke

feeding your children in your stupid FUV while talking on the phone, smoking a cigarette, while eating a Whopper and fires, and throwing the containers out of the window at 65 mph in a 55 mph zone

I'm sorry folks, but sometimes drunk drivers are safer than the idiots


Kate said...

I was a really, really good drunk driver. Seriously.

pj said...

I thought Dale had taken a photo of YOUR truck, Crab. Except you don't have "" in the back window.

OK, closer inspection reveals it's a Chevy. Your company truck is not a Chevy. Still...